If Only
by money makes me smile
Summary: If only I was in his position right now. If only I still had her heart. If only it could be like that again. If only she would take her eyes off of him and glance at me..." Zutara. Oneshot. I do not own Avatar


_**If Only**_

I looked on at the scene before me. Never in a million years did I think I'd be in the position I'm in right now- looking at her, in all her beauty; staring into her luscious blue eyes that cried out "take me, I'm yours"; wanting to reach down and capture her lips in a kiss to finalize our decision to be with one another forever. My eyes wandered down to her neck, where a smooth, round blue pendent tied with a white ribbon hung. Intricate details of an elemental design carved into the stone. Only, the design carved in was not the one I believed it should be. It didn't look right, sitting on her neck with all its glory for the world to see. At least, it didn't to me. It didn't fit her - the colour was off.

If only I was in his position right now.

The place where I stood, however close to her, was not close enough. I thought that when she finally decided it was time to find someone to spend her life with, it would be with me, and no one else. I thought the roles would be reversed. The man standing before her would be where I am now, and I would be holding her hands and mouthing to her, "I love you" and she would reply back with the same words.

If only it could be like that again.

Gone are the days when we would sneak out of our rooms in the Western Air Temple and lay under the stars, describing our thoughts, memories, and feelings. Gone are the days when we would little petty arguments in front of the others, and once everyone was gone we would kiss until we could not breathe. Gone are the days when I would tell her that she stole my heart, and she would respond with four simple words: "you stole mine first."

If only I still had her heart.

It was obvious to anyone that the man standing before her had captured and restored her heart after I had shattered it. It was never supposed to happen- my jealousy was never supposed to have taken over my emotions. I never intended to yell at her, accusing her of cheating. I never intended for my knowledge of the young man's feelings for her to cloud my judgement about her faithfulness to me. I never meant to hurt her, and I think she realizes that now. Nevertheless, she is about the take one of the biggest steps in life with the man I accused her of being with.

If only she would take her eyes off of him and glance at me.

And surprisingly, she does. Her eyes shift ever so slightly to look at me; look into my heart. She knows how I feel. She knows I still love her, and a part of me hopes that _some_ part of her still loves me too. We have our own conversation with our eyes.

_Thank you for coming._

_It's my duty to be here. I owe him that much._

_So you don't hate him?_

_I never did. _

_. . ._

_I still love you. I never wanted us to end._

_Things change, people change. You of all people should know that._

_Have your feelings changed though?_

Her eyes shift from me to him, and she smiles at him. I can only assume he grins back. Her eyes come back to focus on me.

_I think they have._

_You _think_ or you _know_?_

Her eyes stare at me. She has no response. I can no longer take our little game. To all the onlookers, it was rude of me to turn away from the couple and quickly walk towards the door. It wasn't until I heard gasping as I shut the door did I realize what time I had chosen to take my leave.

"Speak now, or forever hold your peace."

_Perfect._

I paced around the room, looking for something to punch or throw. I found a vase sitting on a table. That should do it. I picked it up and threw it across the room, the vase breaking upon impact with the door – which opened just as the shards fell to the floor.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I can't believe you actually expected me to stand there and act as if I don't love you anymore!"

"If you couldn't handle it, you should have never come to the South Pole in the first place!"

"I did this _for _you. I thought you'd be happy."

"Happy? Happy that my wedding was ruined because my ex decided he couldn't stand the thought of me happy with another man?"

"No. I never meant to ruin your wedding. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted us to end."

There is a pause. A quiet, "But we did," is all I heard her say.

She looked so amazing in her dress.

"I'm sorry," I hear myself say. I move closer to her and wrap my arms around her. _God I miss this feeling._

"I know." She lifts her head to look at me, "Aang's waiting for me to come back."

"You should go then."

But she doesn't move.

"He's probably wondering what I'm doing."

"Then you should get back to your wedding."

Again, she doesn't move.

"Why aren't you leaving?" I softly say.

She closes her eyes and a tear falls from each eye, "I'm having a hard time letting go."

I wipe her tears away as she opens her eyes to look at me again. My lips came down to meet hers, and it wasn't until after we kissed for several minutes did my brain kick in. _This is your friend's bride._ But we don't move away from each other. My hands are still cupping her face, and her arms are wrapped around my torso.

She laughs.

"What?" I move my hands down to her waist.

"When I was standing up there, holding Aang's hands, all I thought about was you and how I wish you were in his position."

"Really? Huh, I had the same thought," I smiled and laughed. "So, what do you want to do?"

She sighed, "I don't know. I don't want to go back out there."

"Then don't. Stay here with me." She smiles again.

"We can't stay here forever. They'll wonder what happened to us."

"I suppose you'll have to call off your wedding then."

I heard knocking at the door, "Katara? Are you in there? It's Aang. Open the door!"

I let go of her and she pauses before opening the door, "Hi Aang."

The Avatar glares at me.

"Listen, Aang, we need to talk." He turns his attention to Katara. "I can't marry you. I'm sorry."

He looks shocked and I feel bad that I'm silently laughing to myself, "But why? I thought we loved each other. I thought I held your heart?"

She looks over at me and removes the blue pendent from her neck, the carving of the air symbol shining in the light. Her hands a shaking ever so slightly as she opens Aang's hands and places the necklace in them.

"My heart was stolen a long time ago, and I never got it back. I'm really sorry."

The Avatar looks at me and then to Katara, "It's okay. I wish you two all the happiness in world." He turns and walks away with nothing else to say, but I can see he is devastated.

I stare at the door for a little until Katara comes into my line of sight. I reach into my pocket and pull something out. Katara stares at me, wondering what surprise action I'd do next.

"I've kept this since the day we broke up. I made it a few days before and wanted to give it to you, but things happened."

"That was two years ago Zuko."

"I know. I thought maybe one day I'd be able to give it to you. So. . ." I tied the item around her wrist. A red stone dangled from the blue band. A small flame and wave were carved into the stone.

She gaped, "Oh Zuko, it's beautiful." She grinned.

"When you're ready to have me as your husband, I will tie it around your neck as a betrothal necklace. Until then, think of it was a promise bracelet."

"I love it. And I love you." She wrapped her arms around my neck.

I place my hands on her waist again, "I love you, and nothing will ever change that." I lean down and kiss her with more passion than I knew I had.

Now, if only Sokka didn't try to hurt me the next time he saw me.

* * *

Okay, so I'm not so happy with the ending, but I refused to go to bed until this was done. I started it at 12am and it is now 2:02am. Hope you enjoyed this oneshot. If you want, leave a review, if not, thanks for taking the time to read!


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